The Epidemic
by CheeseCucumberSandwich
Summary: Sure, you know the story of Ellie and Joel as they endure the apocalyptic world of The Last of Us... but do you know how it truly all began? When Gir causes one of Zim's experiments to go wrong, the Irken invader has to team up with fellow humans - including the big-headed Dib - to contain a new epidemic that's raging the world. This story contains no spoilers from TLOU.


**Hello everyone! My name is Cheese Cucumber Sandwich and I'm here to present you all with an adventurous new fanfiction!**

**Basically during organic chemistry lab (which I hate), I thought, 'What if Zim caused the Cordecyps Brain Infection from The Last of Us?' And seeing as I want to be an epidemiologist (they tackle epidemics like HIV and Ebola) and I love science, I knew I had to write this!**

**The good news is if you've never played The Last of Us, you should be still able to read it, as the events in the video game take place 20 years after, while my story takes place pretty much present-day and doesn't offer any spoilers to the actual plot of TLOU. If anything, it's more so an Invader Zim story than the latter, as I just write about the disease itself, not any major characters from the game.**

**Furthermore, I intend to make this story suitable for everyone 10 and up. No cursing, minor violence. You know, the typical Invader Zim stuff. And also dark humor. You can't have an IZ fic without dark humor. (Watch me say this and have no dark humor 😂)**

**Also, disclaimer, I don't own IZ nor TLOU.**

**This is gonna be a long journey, so grab a cool drink, a crunchy snack, and a warm blanket to snuggle in! My recommendation? Lemonade, watermelon, and maybe a crunchy cheese snack. Chocolates are always a good choice!**

**Gosh, do I always talk this much? Anyway, without further ado, let the story begin...**

**—**

One sweltering August evening, Zim sat at his research station down in his base, his wide magenta eyes fixed onto his high-definition microscope. Grabbing a liquid solvent of some sort, he used a pipette to let a few droplets fall onto the sample. Placing the container back on the desk, he waited for a few minutes, eager for his experiment to finally shine through.

Gir whirred down on the hovering floor panel that acted as an elevator between the underground base and the main floor. With his tongue sticking out, he loudly hummed some nonsense song that echoed throughout the walls. When the plate landed on the floor, he walked over to his master, shouting: "I GOT MUSH-ROOMS!" He shoved a handful near Zim's face, irking the Irken.

He backed away from the microscope, glaring hard at his tiny robot servant. "Now is NOT the time for your stupid little plants, Gir!" Zim seethed in irritation, before his noticed the mushrooms Gir was holding. "Are those the special mushrooms we picked up a few months ago?"

Gir was watching an animal documentary one day, and while Zim thought it was a complete waste of time, one segment caught his attention: the Cordecyps fungi. The alien was so intrigued how the ant creatures would be infected by its spores, before the plant pathogen took control of the ant's brain, directing it to death. So Zim decided to set out with Gir to find this Cordy-cyps whatever, in a hope to bring the human race to its knees.

Of course, like many projects the Irken began, the fungi never followed to completion, and Zim simply left the few mushrooms he plucked from another continent lying around his base. And so when Zim demanded that Gir stop bothering him, and do something else useful, the robot sidekick simply found the plants and played with them.

"I think sooooo... YES! Or no. I DUNNO!" The robot screeched, looking at his master.

"And why are you holding them?"

"Cause they mah FRIENDS!" Gir hugged some of the mushrooms closer to his metallic chest, his cyan eyes beaming with happiness.

"Gir, as the invaders, we have no friends on Earth! Our mission is to infiltrate the planet, find its weakness, and prepare it for The Tallests' coming." Folding his hands behind his back, he stared at Gir. "Do you understand?"

Gir held the fungi in one armful, using the other to salute with his metallic claws, his eyes now glowing an alarm-red. "Yes, my master!"

"Good. And now part of my magnificent plan, I shall create-" Zim, in dramatic fashion, raised one hand fisted in a confident stance: "A pathogen!"

"A PATHOGEN?!" Gir squealed, excited - although not exactly sure what he was excited about.

"A pathogen!"

"A PATHOGEN!"

"Yes, Gir." The Irken said, clearing his throat, ending the repetition. "One so virulent, so deadly, it'll kill off all the vegetation on Earth!" He yelled in confidence, turning to face his servant. "Hmm, those plants might be good for something now."

Zim reached over, plucking a mushroom from his arm, before taking it to his station. "Now let's see if Zim's ingenious plan has worked!" Using the pipette to secure a portion of the disease he was perfecting, he squeezed it to let the sample settle onto the Cordecyps. Zim held the fungus for a moment, anxiously waiting for his glory to shine through.

But alas - nothing happened. "Eh, needs a few minutes is all." Zim tried to convince himself, without feeling too disappointed. If he was doing things right - which, Zim was convinced he always did - there should have been a physical altercation to the plant within ten seconds, totally destroying the vegetation.

Zim's discouragement was not long-lived, though, as the alien's antennae picked up a small, light-chimed clatter that sounded as if a glass vial fell onto the floor. Whipping his head around, he spotted a silhouette ducking behind one of his other research labs. Zim wasted no time: "COMPUTER! Activate defenses and showcase the intruder who DARE stands a chance against ZIM!"

"Fine." The database mumbled, claws from the ceiling reaching below on the ground, near the area where Zim heard the sound moments ago.

Zim was not the least surprised when his Computer plopped his nemesis on the ground before him:

Dib Membrane.

"Dib-worm!" Zim yelled in frustration, staring down at the human. "You dare invade the INVADER'S secret base?"

"I know what you're up to, Zim!" Dib exclaimed, smoothing out his jet-black hair from his face that was ruffled by the fall while adjusting his glasses. "And I'm gonna make sure you fail!"

"Sil-ENCE!" Zim crescendoed, before turning to his computer screen. "Seeing as how you've probably listened in on my plan earlier, I'll fill you in on the details." Tapping a few buttons on his control station, Zim displayed the microscopic image on the screen. "Here is an inactive Irken virus bioengineered by our most brilliant scientists! With some experimental tweaking, I expect to create a virus that'll destroy all plant life on Earth, creating a truly barren rock!"

"You won't get away with this, Zim!" Dib balled his fists in anger, before lessening his own grip, a question resting on his mind. "Wait, why plants?" If anything, Dib would have expected the invader to try and kill out the humans with a disease - not plants. After all, people were killing the environment at such an enormous rate, Dib felt as if Zim didn't have to do anything at this point.

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Zim screeched. "Anyhow, I'll need to erase your memory and send you on your pathetic way so you don't mess with my amazing creation!" Whipping his neck around, Zim located his idiotic sidekick. "Gir!"

Gir, off the one side of the base, was happily munching on one of the mushrooms before standing to a salute, his robotic eyes beaming red once more. "Yes, sir!"

"I need you to prepare the memory-eraser, so our friend Dib here doesn't infiltrate my plan." Gir nodded, before running off to fulfill Zim's command.

"You think you're gonna get away that easily?" Dib scoffed, coming to stand on his feet now, staring down his enemy. "How many years will it take for you to realize that that will never happen when I'm around, Zim?"

"Huh, you hear that?" The once-harsh expression on the Irken's face softening, his antennae alert.

"Um... no, what?" Dib replied, confused, looking around.

"THAT'S THE SOUND OF YOU NOT TALKING TO ME BECAUSE YOUR MEMORY IS ERASED!" Zim cackled, clearly humored by his own joke. He abruptly stopped, as his face became stern once more. "Gir! Where's the memory-erasing device?"

"Ooo wee I still looking for it- ooh, wat dis do?" Gir looked over at a small device that had a large silver button that attracted Gir. And Zim's attention. "It's so shiNEE!"

"No, Gir! Find the memory erase-" Zim tried to finish.

"OoooOOH!" Gir squealed like the pig he befriended. "IMMA PUSH DA BUTTON!"

"Gir, no!" Zim yelled, but it was all in vain. Gir's metallic claw clanked down on the button, emitting a blue beam that traveled towards the microscope. The Irken virus, which was still showcased on the screen, became enlightened in a blue glowing hue. Zim's microscope was so advanced compared to Earth's technology that he could see the tiny, intracellular reactions happening in HD that were occurring at an insane, high-speed rate.

"Zim! What did you do?!" Dib asked angrily.

"First, I didn't do anything. Second, it was supposed to be used when my plant-killing virus was finally completed. Who knows what Gir has done to my specimen." Turning to Gir, Zim looked at him with a stare that looked as if he wanted to dismantle his robot to pieces. Seriously, could the Tallest not provide him with a better S.I.R. unit?

As if things couldn't get worse, Gir took notice of his mushrooms from earlier. "Oooh! I think the pathogen-thingy needs a frIEND!"

Zim realized what he was on about. "No, Gir! No mushrooms!"

But did Gir listen? Of course not. Still having the armful of mushrooms, Gir thew them everywhere in the base - one even landed on Dib's big head. But most importantly, Gir threw a couple in the beam's direction that aimed towards the virus. "WHEEHOO!"

Zim ran over, pushing the silver button to stop the laser's flow. "Why on IRK did I, the incredible ZIM, receive you as my servant?!" Gir looked stupidly happy at his master. "You're terrible, Gir!"

Gir then dropped to the floor in defeat, pounding his metal class against the floor, wailing. "I so sorry master!" Then as if nothing ever happened, he immediately he stood up and shouted, "TIME FOR PIZZA WITH PIGGY!"

"It's over for you, Zim!" Dib shouted from towards the end of the base. While Zim was distracted by his servant, Dib took advantage of the opportunity and escaped from Zim's grips.

"COMPUTER!" Zim screeched.

"Ugh. What?" The electronic voice groaned in annoyance.

"Capture the human!" Once again, the Computer's claws tried to surround and hold captive the human invader. But Dib jumped, maneuvered, and evaded his enemies' traps. While scurrying around the base, Zim's science experiment caught the corner of his eye, and an idea immediately popped into his head.

"Hey Zim! Say goodbye to your precious disease!"

"Dib, don't you da-" Zim began, as if warning the human would stop him from ruining his plan.

"Haha, Zim, fooled by me once again!" Having grabbed the petro dish, Dib dashed towards the floor panel exit, still managing to avoid the computer's tactics. He immediately saw an area on the wall labeled 'Disposal', and chucked it inside, the entry door flapping back and forth.

Zim ran after him, but not before the floor panel had already skyrocketed towards the main floor. "Hah!" Dib raspberried at his green nemesis. "See ya, Zim!"

"DiiiIIIIIBBBBB!" Zim scrunched his claws in extreme frustration. All of his hard work for the past two months! Gone! He turned to face Gir. "This is all your. FAULT. GIR!"

"Aww. Did I do something wrong?" Gir asked in anticipation.

"Computer!"

"Again?"

"Can you retriever sample IV20 for me?"

"Checking database..." The computer blooped, before providing Zim with an answer - and not the one he wanted. "The sample is not located within our vicinity."

"GAH!" That PESKY human!" Zim glared at his robot. "Gir, come here. I think it's time we take a look inside that brain circuit of yours."

"We gonna play a game?" Gir asked in excitement, clanging his tiny metal hands together in a clap as he jumped up and down.

Zim sighed and closed his eyes. With him and Dib, it's a wonder his head didn't explode from all the madness. "No, Gir. We are not playing a game.

"Aww man!" Gir whined.

There was a moment of silence as the two stared at each other: Gir, happily and Zim, angrily. "I miss mah mushrooms!" Gir cried, before following his master to the control center in the base.

"How do you think I feel?" Zim mumbled under his breath, preparing to take a look inside his companion's mind.


End file.
